I've been lacking proper sleep lately. I'm probably averaging 4-5 hours a night on the week days. I over-sleep on weekends. But that never helps.

I've been working at Nintendo for two weeks and a half now. It's OK. I always have a hard time staying awake at work though. Playing the DS for 8 hours isn't all that it's cracked up to be. It's difficult to hold the thing. Your neck always ends up in a weird position and chronic pain ensues. I don't think they'll bother to make any adjustments to the work environment simply because of that though. We're temporary employees. I'm hoping that my jobs lasts until I start taking college classes at EVCC. At which point I have no idea what I'll do with myself. I'm behind on all of my bills and really hoping to catch up by then. Maybe the school will have jobs available for students, or something. I don't care about taking shitty jobs anymore. I just want to go to school and get by on what I can until I'm finished.

I want to go do DigiPen, I've decided. I'm not sure I'm smart enough, though. Programming (in college) takes some serious dedication to maths. I would love to be good at math, it's of high interest to me, I just have never had any luck grasping it. I'll try extra hard in my college math classes and maybe get a tutor. I'm sure I can be at least slightly successful within that subject.

Recently I have started building up my music collection again. I had lost 100% of my music for quite some time. I'm probably at about 1/3 of what I had before. Based on amount. I still am having to hunt down artists that I had discovered in the past. Though all this discovering, and ultimately sharing with the torrent community, I have felt the urge to do some review writing. I also feel like I should get out to more shows here in Seattle. I don't have any friends to go with, but I could take Katie's brother, Zach. We are friends, in a way.

I feel bad saying that I don't have any friends here, but I really don't. Not true friends. I have several very good acquaintances that I talk to with from time to time. But they are all Katie's friends. They invite Katie *and* me over. I am secondary and not really necessary to the transaction. I had met some good friends in the past through work, but after some time they stopped returning my calls and texts. I gave up hope. It's been 2 years now. I'm really sick of this.

On a lighter note. I've been training for a marathon with Katie's dad, Dan. We have been running for about 4 weeks now. We run almost every day, with long runs on Sunday. Meaning upwards of 10 miles or whatever the training schedule says. We will not be running my first marathon until November at which point we will be running the Seattle Marathon. I am very excited about this, and have contemplated getting a 26.2 tattoo in commemoration of the feat. I might wait until I've run more than one to get the tattoo, on second though. Just to make sure the feeling is right. We ran our first race, an 8k, during Sea Fair; the Seattle Torchlight run. We ran well and finished in decent time -- 45 minutes. I hope to become a lot faster, but I am currently fat and in poor shape.

Katie is away at camp this week, I miss her a lot. She will be back this weekend. I think we are going to cook dinner for my brother's family (including Johanna, who is visiting the area.) I'm not sure what we'll do just yet. Maybe some chow mien or tofu stir fry stuff with our recent discovery: Fresh Spring Rolls with Peanut Sauce. Yummy. So, I am lonely this week without Katie. Time is going by slowly, and I have a hard time sleeping and staying entertained without her. I am going to buy Call of Duty: World at War tomorrow so we can play it through together when she comes home. I get paid tomorrow.

On another note: the bank is stupid. Or maybe it's simply the fact that I am bad with credit of any kind. I have not used my credit card for over a year and it is still maxed and overbalance. I hate this. I despise my actions. I will regret this continually for years, I'm sure. Fucking banks.

Speaking of money, I need to start saving money for a rental deposit. Katie and I plan on moving out soon, but both have shit when it comes to savings, and Katie isn't working currently. I want to live on my own again. I want to be self-sufficient again. It's embarrassing.

I miss my friends. They probably are not aware of how much and how often I miss them. I don't often talk about it. I want them to be here with me and enjoy this beautiful area, the great city. I wish it were easier...

listening to: Radiohead - In Rainbows