So a few things have changed that I thought I might inform you of. I received a new camera from Johanna. I have since created a flickr account and tied that account to make posts to my blog here. So you will now get photos along with all your blog entries! Horray! Here are the first few. Largely tests photos.

Feel free to keep an eye on my flickr account @ www.flickr.com/photos/mataus

It seems like the last few months have been a blur. I can't so much recall taking a moment of two out of those passing months to take a look at where I am, have been, and will be. I feel stuck in this same old routine. I wake up, go to work, come home from work and eat, maybe read or play video games and repeat the process. The weekends provide some discourse but not enough as of late. I want to spend time lost in nature, lost in the city or open road far from what I call home. Something I have been missing is the natural meditation loneliness. Temporary loneliness is important to clear one's mental cache, so to speak. I haven't been able to sleep and I believe that my longing for alone time plays a large part in my current insomnia. Recently I've been able to gain temporary happiness; I bought fish, books, ate out a lot, drank with a friend... nothing to satisfy what I'm longing.

On a lighter note, I've been raking in large portions of money as a working stiff. Even though it makes me feel like I'm wasting my life away, it is for a good cause - to get myself through the ominous expense of college. I am, admittedly, a typical American consumer. That is something I'm working on successfully.

Something else I would like to work on successfully is finding more people to hang out with on a regular basis. I love all my friends that I have up here, but it seems like the only time I spend with them is if Katie wants to hang out with them or they with Katie. Although this may be another side effect of working a majority of the time. No time for friends.

I expect soon I will be going to Katie's brain doctor for mental treatment. Probably as soon as my PSE health insurance kicks in. I don't want to be forced into relying on medication but I'm starting to feel at this point nothing else will motivate me.

listening to: Radio: KEXP

I've felt pretty out of it this weekend. I think I need a vacation again one of these days. I want to see my friends again. Spend time with them and relax in the comfort of their presence. I've hung out with friends here and had a good time, but I haven't found any friends that I can hold as close as my friends back home... I try... but I haven't found anyone in particular that I can trust with my feelings or ideas.

I went to my first small/house type show, though. I enjoyed it. Minus the pressure to dance... Which I suppose for most isn't such a bad thing. It was a good venue. The comfy, bring your own beer and weed type venue. My/Katie's friend, Sarah, brought us there to see her brother's show. He was energetic and fun to listen to. I like him a lot personally so I expected the same for his performance.

I guess I'm just writing to write. I don't feel good. I'm not sure what is going on. Probably the weeks and weeks of depressing weather. I am so ready for this to end and it seems like it just began.

listening to: Elliott Smith - "Basement II" Demos