Things have been a little better, I suppose. I'm moving out very soon into an apartment here in Hurricane. Only for a month. If the offer stands, which I believe it will. 'm moving in with Ciara and Cole; if the offer stands. It should be exciting living away from home. Even though away is less than five minutes. I'll be independent if you want to call it that.

I've been a little less lonely too. I've gone up to visit Tori twice in the last month, which is a very nice break from Hurricane life. She's a sweet girl. And yes, seeing a good friend two or three times is way more interaction than I normally get. Not counting work, 'cause that's a bunch of really shitty interaction. The goddamn boxes are more interesting to talk to than half the people working there.

The night shift is killing me slowly though. I always want to go and hang out with people; Ciara, Chase, Cody, (holy shit, the three C's) whoever ... but I never have the heart or energy to actually get out there. All I want to do on my weekend is sleep and play fucking WoW. I suppose there are people to talk when I'm playing for a majority of the time - I've become good friends with the few of them who I've known for about a year now - but that doesn't count as healthy interaction. I love the few friends I have and feel bad for not spending more time with them.

Alexis gave me her address in Germany and I planned on writing her, but I accidentally deleted it ... ='( Hopefully she will look at this again, or check the comment I left her and re-give it to me. I miss her too... I guess for the longest time I was drawn away from her because, well, I had a crush on her and she started dating some guy I just assumed was a weirdo because I was jealous.

I'm over that now. I'm over that feeling for anyone right now, unless they convince me otherwise. It's been the cause of a lot of hurt, mostly due to myself being insane. On second thought though, it would be nice to have a girl to be with, without all the goddamn drama. I just want someone to have fun with; someone who has fun just talking and sitting around and being lazy, lazy, lazy. Cuddling is always nice too. Although for me cuddling does not have a binding contract with dating, I just have to like you.

listening to: The Postal Service - Give Up

I know that I can't make you stay
But where's your heart?

Honey if you stay you'll be forgiven


Alexis, it seems you didn't get my email, so: I apologize. None of that was called for in the least. I guess I was just depressed that day. I suppose saying hurtful things was my way of channeling my own pain into something else, but it only ever makes it worse. I felt alone, and betrayed when, all along, it was all my fault. I was jealous, I was lonely, I was in love.

I'll take the offer. Let me know when you'll be back home.


P.S. Hope you're having fun in Germany. Become fluent in Deutschsprachig, make several friends, et cetera.

listening to: My Chemical Romance - The Black Parade