The last two or three weeks have been pretty hectic; and just last night I made a decision I've never had to make before.

Two weeks ago, or thereabouts, I ran up to Cedar City with my roommate/friend, Ciara. Her and I proceeded to become very, very drunk. It was a rather large party, those of which I am normally frightened to attend, but alcohol does wonderful things to me. At some point during the drunken party a girl who I've known throughout high school (who does not drink alcohol--anymore) was helping me stay vertical and out of trouble, her name is Niall. This only got me speaking with her again.

The next night, or maybe weekend? I don't remember... A friend of hers, Josh, came down from Vegas, who also happened to be a friend of my roommate. We head up again to Cedar with more alcohol to Niall's house. The group of us, Ciara, Josh and I drank a whole lot of gin and played Cranium with Niall and roommates. Alcohol and Cranium don't make a winning team, but it's quite a hilarious time. Niall and I ended up on a team, and lost horribly.

By this time I've become cripplingly attracted to Niall. With the alcohol making me wonderfully confident, and touchy-feely^10, we end up "cuddling" throughout the night. If I am remembering correctly, anyhow... (revisions allowed in comment form.)

The next day on my way to work Ciara sends me a text saying something to the effect of, "Gwyn (Niall) likes you, you should go up to Cedar again this weekend and go on a date..." and so I do. I actually ended up staying there for two days, and calling in to work to spend an extra night. Between talking on the phone to her twice a day and texting in-between we grew very fond of each other. I spent three days a week with her. Normally this would proceed to become a fine relationship, but there is a twist... Niall has a boyfriend, who she is deeply in love with.

His name is Kenny, and he is on a LDS mission. He really doesn't belong there, but I think there were other, deeper reasons for him going then his religion. He wanted her to date other people, but she didn't expect to actually like other people... Whenever I was with her, when we kissed, when we hugged, she didn't feel right about it due to her love for Kenny. Every day I could feel myself falling in love with her, even though it was forbidden. I knew that even when she was happy with me, she felt wrong, and it killed me.

Yada yada yada, I'm forced between making the decision to move to Cedar and live with Niall, or move far far away to Seattle. There was no right solution. So I chose what seemed best for my future; moving far far away. I'll miss her.